HRV Score: 48
Relative Balance: 6 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 8hr 36m
Overall morning mood: I woke up around 3a and was having some pretty lucid dreams that weren’t the most pleasant. I had a difficult time falling back asleep after that. When I did fall back asleep, I ended up snoozing my alarm and woke up thirty minutes late in a panic.
Meditation: 10 minutes - 174hZ
Home: Yoga - Day 24 - Gentle Tummy Yoga
CorePower - Yoga C1 Class
Average HR 93, High was 157
Notes: At first, I was hesitant to go as it was a rest day but I am glad that I went. I was sweating up a storm, which hasn’t been the case in the C1 classes I have taken. The sweat felt good, but need to get a better mat.
Nico was the instructor for the class. I could tell he was irritated when I was at the desk when he walked out of the class he was teaching previously, however i believe it was due to the woman who was cleaning at the moment opening the door early as I heard him say, “ Yeah, don’t do that again.” haha The tone in his voice gave me a good chuckle, inside of course! Sorry Nico. Ha. On the flip side, I thought his class was awesome and provided the most amount of feed back I have received thus far of my practice. It was appreciated so much! I love constructive criticism.
My mind wasn’t entirely present when I first settled into class. Normally, i fixate my gaze into a corner of the hardwood about 5-6 feet in front of my mat and keep it there. Today, I was distracted by movement in my peripheral vision. I don’t remember if he mentioned setting an intention. He probably did, I just was stuck in my own head, I am sure. My intention was what it has been, I am calm. As we transitioned into the core work part of the flow, I changed my intention from I am Calm, to I am focused. I believe it helped. I knew that standing balance postures were coming up and I knew that I had to focus or I would be falling on my ass.
On to what I learned. Like I said, Nico provided the most amount of feedback both during and after class. SO THANKFUL! To begin, in Chaturanga Dandasana my hands were placed too far forward as it allowed for my chest to collapse. By shifting my hands back and closer to my rib cage, I felt the muscle contract more in my triceps and lower chest. Secondly, in Trikonasana just need open the chest a little more. He also mentioned that in reverse triangle the initial thought is to bend backwards while it is intention is to lift up with the arm and open up the chest while the rear arm just rests gently on the rear leg.
As noted in my journal yesterday, I had a question about my knees shifting in Parivrtta Utka Asana or Revolved Chair Pose. He seemed to have read my mind and discussed it in class. He did say that shifted correctly as I shifted back into my heels slightly more so that my knees remained in line. I struggled with this pose today and could feel it it my inner quads. Muscles that definitely need some work!
Interesting! I just learned that Utkata means powerful or fierce..
I might be forgetting some others, and will add more later if they come to mind.
Perhaps I talk too much. I just need to shut my yap and listen. Listen more, and listen to learn. Stop fucking listening to respond. Bad habit. That is something I have to focus on.
All in all a great class and I look forward to taking another of his classes.
Infinite Love & Gratitude
The Corner of 8th & Insanity: You need to be aware that your ego takes on many names. Resentment and judgement are two that come to mind that we need need to talk about and you most definitely need to work on. You are on a path and to you it feels right. You core set of beliefs are changing and evolving. That is okay. As you begin to awaken you are going to have a lot of questions. Questions you may not find answers to for sometime. Be patient. You are not alone walking, but remember people out there are on their own path. They are at their own place at their own pace. That is okay too. You and I may believe things should be a certain way, that people should be or act in a certain way. But it is no your place or mine to judge their behavior on a grand scale. Accept what is! Yes, you are correct in the sense that if someone is toxic, to remove them from your life. That isn’t necessarily passing judgment, that is making a decision to whom you choose to share your energy with. What I am talking about is the thoughts in your conscious mind. The negative and ill thoughts towards other based on their decisions. If you don’t agree with them, it is your responsibility to be the shining light in your world and to set an example. You have no room or place in your heart to judge others. You too have made mistakes. You too have chosen to act in a way or behaved in a away that you are not proud of. It is because of those mistakes you are where you are. It is why you know what you know. Because you are starting to see the light, you have no pedestal to stand on. They may not be perfect…neither are you. Chill out. Be happy. Be an example. That is how you see the change, you need to be the change.
Love in your heart. And that is the language we all share and speak. Judgmental attitude effects every aspect of your life. It casts a cloud over your vision and your ability to step back and be compassionate. These moments of judgment are another version of self hate that you are working towards ridding yourself of. If any of them, it may be your biggest hurdle, but I have confidence that you will over come. It is a process and will not happen over night. Nobody expects it to. Love is the answer…Unconditional acceptance is the answer. Another way to look at it is, their behavior…like your behavior and choices are a part of your path. They are inherently important because they are keys to who you and they are becoming. It is necessary hurtle for them to over come as it is you. Be patient. Be accepting. Mistakes are a part of life and they are part of the exploration. Be the person that learns from mistakes. That is the type of person that we all love.
Isn’t it funny how the ego has its way of playing these games with us? The ego want s to grow and builds itself up. Its sees survive, remember? I have been watching you closing and I can see that you are getting better addressing your ego. Keep at it. Keep doing what you are doing. Meditation and yoga allow you calm yourself. It is in that ability to remain calm, that you can step back when the ego presents an idea, and you are able to make a conscious choice. That is how we get better. That is conscious living.
The more you learn to love yourself, you will realize that subconscious monsters exist, but you are not surprised when they arise. Because in that true love, that true acceptance, you realize that is what disolves them in the first place! Flood those shadows with light my man. The point in this is that when you feel strongly about something, you know when you see something you don’t agree with, judgment may arise. Step back, forgive yourself of the thoughts and let them go. Replace them with positive vibes and send them back out into the universe. You got this.